My predictions of not getting much sleep the night that Zac and I had worked together to convince Casey to stay, were right on the money. I’d only gotten a couple winks of sleep in the early morning, as the sun had started to come up. During the night, I busied myself making various mental lists. Lists varying from, “things I should have told Casey before,” to “things I still need to get done.” In all, I probably made at least twenty. There was no way I would ever be able to remember everything that I had on each of the lists.
Eventually, I decided to just get up and start the new day. I took it upon myself to make a large breakfast for anyone. Even Taylor, Natalie, and Ezra were going to come over. Having not slept much at all, I got started early, scrambling eggs, frying potatoes, and cooking bacon. By the time I was nearly finished, Casey and Chris were already up, and Taylor called saying that they were on their way. I was hoping that Zac would get up on his own soon, so that I wouldn’t have to make the decision of whether to wake him up or not. I knew that he probably hadn’t gotten much sleep last night either.
Casey and Chris helped me out by setting the table, something we didn’t do very often. But that morning, it seemed fitting to have everyone together around the table. After the table was set, Christian went into the living room to watch cartoons, and Casey came over to help me with some of the cooking. Zac finally crept into the kitchen, still wearing the same clothes from the night before, and his hair messy. There were large bags under his eyes, which, I’m sure, mirrored my own. Automatically, my suspicions of him not getting any sleep proved to be correct. In fact, none of us looked like we had gotten much sleep.
“Tay’s coming over for breakfast,” I explained, as he stared at all of the plates sitting on the table. He just nodded and plopped down in a chair. His head leaned back, over the back of the chair.
“Do you want something to drink?” Casey offered him, surprising both of us. She was standing beside me at the stove, putting salt and pepper onto the potatoes that I’d just fried. Zac and I both stared at her for a moment before he nodded.
“Can you grab me a bottle of water?” He asked. His voice cracked as he started speaking, and he cleared it before saying any more. “My mouth feels like cotton.”
Casey pulled a bottle of water from the fridge and turned to him. “Can you catch?” He nodded, unsurely, and held up his hands. She tossed the bottle and it didn’t even go near him before landing on the floor and rolling towards the counter beside me. “Sorry,” she apologized quickly as he just smirked. Lazily, he pulled himself up to pick up the bottle from beside my feet. “I suck at throwing,” she sighed to no one in particular.
“I know,” Zac mumbled, sitting back down with his water. He opened it up and downed half of it before putting the lid back on it and setting it down on the table. Just as I pulled the last of the bacon out of the pan, the doorbell rang.
“Can someone get that?” I asked as I started putting the food on the table.
Casey was the first one to jump up to answer the door. I watched as she ruffled some of Christian’s hair as she walked past him towards the door.
“You okay?” I asked Zac, with Casey out of the room, as I continued moving around the kitchen, getting things ready for breakfast. I checked the fridge to make sure we had things to drink.
“I’m okay,” Zac said, his voice still raw and scratchy. My guess is, if he had gotten any sleep the night before, it only came after hours of crying. In my head, I was trying to figure out how to make all of this right. How to make everyone happy again.
“The smell is making my stomach growl,” Taylor said light-heartedly, as he walked into the kitchen and went straight to the freshly brewed pot of coffee. Even if it hadn’t been freshly brewed, that’s still probably the first place he would have went.
“You guys are just in time,” I said, setting the salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table. When I looked up, I didn’t see Natalie, and I became concerned that she didn’t come.
“She’s in the bathroom,” Taylor said, noticing the look on my face as he sat down at the table next to a half-sleeping Zac, with his coffee cup in hand.
“Is it the pregnant thing?” I asked, just assuming it was, but he shook his head.
“She’s not far enough along yet. I think it’s the whole drinking eight gallons of water a day thing,” he said, with a small smirk on his face.
“Eight gallons?” Zac asked suddenly, almost laughing.
“You know what I mean,” he shrugged. “All the way over here she was singing the ‘I gotta pee’ song,” Taylor said in a mocking tone, making Zac and I both laugh.
“I’m gonna go tell everyone that it’s done,” I said as I left the kitchen. Everyone was pretty easy to round up. The boys were in the living room watching TV. I had them turn it off and go into the kitchen while I rounded up their mothers. They were in Casey’s room, fawning over Kay. I watched them for a few moments, and then cleared my throat to get their attention.
Natalie turned around to smile at me while Casey spoke, with her back still towards me. “Well be in there in a minute,” she said, and I could hear the exhaustion in her voice.
I silently retreated back to the kitchen, my spirits kind of low. I wanted to know why everything had to be so complicated with this family. I didn’t feel that we deserved everything that was thrown our way, but we always dealt with it. I just wanted a break for once. Why couldn’t we ever get a break? Upon entering the kitchen, I walked in on Taylor explaining to the boys where chocolate milk comes from. It was a story that I could recall him telling both, Zoe and Mackenzie, when they were young enough to believe it.
“So, when the cow eats the chocolate grass, it makes the milk chocolate when it comes out.”
“Really?!” Chris asked enthusiastically.
Taylor nodded with just as much enthusiasm and then motioned towards me. “If you don’t believe me, ask him.”
“Is it true Uncle Ike?” Ezra asked, turning around in his chair to face me.
“Of course,” I nodded as I took a seat next to Taylor. “And when they want whipped cream, they put the cow in this shaker machine, and when the milk comes out, it’s already whipped.” I had to hold back my laughter as the boys looked at me with astonishment.
“Does it hurt them?” Ezra wanted to know.
“Of course not. Would they do it if it did?” Taylor responded, playing along.
“Where’s Zac?” I asked the moment I realized I was sitting in his empty chair.
“Bathroom,” all three of them responded in unison and the boys started giggling when they realized it.
Only minutes later, Casey and Natalie entered the kitchen, followed by Zac who still looked dead to the world. But at least attempted to make himself presentable by changing into jeans, which I was sure were dirty, and a t-shirt. His hair looked like he’d just raked his fingers through it, and I was fairly sure I could still see sleep in the corner of his eyes.
He yawned as he took another seat at the table and started fiddling with the placemat. As the girls took their seats, we all started digging into the food that I’d set on the table in front of us. Taylor helped both boys with their food before taking his own share. Before any of us could start eating, Zac spoke up.
“I think we should say grace this morning,” he said somberly. We used to say grace all the time, but once we all moved away from home, it became something we did very rarely. It was saved for moments of large proportions. When we had something huge to be grateful for, or when things were getting a little rough. Taylor looked at Zac questioningly, but Zac caught my eye, and watched me for backup. I nodded, knowing his reasoning.
“Why don’t you do it,” I encouraged. He nodded, accepting the duty, as the rest of us bowed our heads.
“Dear Father who art in heaven,” he began, his voice still a little rough. “We thank you for the blessings in which we receive from you every day. We thank you for the opportunity to be sitting here with our family and friends. We ask that you nourish this meal before us, and continue to offer your blessings to us. We ask that you bless Nat’s pregnancy and the life she is preparing to give birth to. And we ask that you watch over Casey, Christian, and Kay, as life takes them down each path. Keep them safe and secure, and happy wherever they are. We thank you for all this and more. In Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.” A chorus of Amens echoed around the table.
I was sure of two things that morning. One, Zac still loved her. And two, from that moment on, she could up and go at any time, and none of us would be able to stop her.
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